Last weekend was awful and I can't help but projecting the heaviness to upcoming weeks.
It was just week 1 and already I felt worn and torn. And this is bad because when I did so, the ghost of the past came haunting altogether. My strategy was to rationalize the fears and feelings, to step back and see the big picture of it all. And I have to do all of this by myself. I woke up everyday feeling that I am going to have my head cut off my body. This, is almost like living in a cell, waiting for the sentence for the crime I have committed. It is sure to be dead sentence, but somehow, deep inside, I still hope to see that it was not that bad, that I can come out of this in one full body.
If anyone tell me that this is just about finishing school and coping alone, I would laugh at how exaggerated the rendition is. But it is, it is.
Starting week 2 with Mozart's Requiem: Kyrie. If there's a God, He would take pity on me. But there doesn't seem to be any.
August 2013
Been thinking of how deeply in love I am with music. I was high and low, here and there, with and without and survived through it all. As addicting as morphine to my pains, I feel being understood as much as I want to be. Music is a company, like a friend (-only better). In case of obsession, it became like a religion (-only better). Oh maaaan...
In my dream I were grooving with XX's Romy Madley Croft
