P.S.

I can't actually believe that it is week 5 already. Tests, projects, quizzes, deadlines keep coming up. My nearest escape now is recess week, after week 6. But I have to pass this coming week 6 in the first place.

I have 2 mid term tests next week, Chinese and Stats Mechanics. I am well prepared for the CHinese one. I have been following the lecture closely, I updated the podcasts, did my homework and practice every now and then. But then, Stats Mech... I am still stuck with tutorial 1. I have been skipping lectures and tutorials. I really don't have any idea what the lecturer was talking about at class. All I can grasp is, how his voice so much resemble Louis Armstrong (the uncle who sang a famous version of What a Wonderful World)

I also have a long lab report due next week. I need to finish my draft by this Wed cos I have to go for viva.

and instead of locking myself inside my bedroom and start studying, I have been nowhere near there these past few days.

Wednesday night I went to watch drama fest. Except for a friend was playing there, I really did not enjoy the show. Ended up reaching hostel at 1am++ cos I joined supper and chit chat with others.

Thursday night, been preparing myself for SEP interview. Spent nearly a whole day to train myself to answer potential questions. But was too nervous on the interview day itself. I think I did not manage to promote myself as good as when I was practicing. I joined a lot of activities, I prepared a lot of reasons on why I want to go for SEP, and then I just forgot. T_T

followed by a long practice for NUSChoir, till 11pm.

Friday night I went to Friday Mass at school. Eventhough the organizer starts very late, as usual, nearly 1.5hr late, but I tried not to use that as my alibi for not attending God's invitation. After that, I went to In Fusion Night at UCC Hall. I enjoyed Indian Dance, it makes me more and more amazed with the nation. I am more assured to go for NOC India if I cannot get the SEP program. I was there for my friends. Some friends are the organizer and I know they have been working very hard on it. So I think it can be a support for them. Also, because not so many Indons are coming to support the Indon performer that night. I think my claps can add more encouragement.

But I don't know. I keep doing this and that for friends, I mean, someone I deem to be friend. I really have no idea if this is working. I often feel that no one really regard me as a friend, I mean, a friend as I define it to be, someone who cares, someone who would look for me when I suddenly disappear from this world. I keep going here and there, meeting a lot of people, but still I feel very lonely. I don't know if somebody ever really give a damn on how hard it is for me to organize my time, amidst of school demand and CCA activities, not to mention those outside school, yet I still try my best to be there for them. I really don't know.

Hah. I should stop all of this "I-could-read-people's-mind-and-really-tell-if-someone-dislikes-me" attitude.

People are good. *self-hypno*

This Saturday, I woke up early in the morning (won't tell you how "early" it is ;b) and went to CFA, for another lengthy NUSChoir practice. It finished at 1230pm, and then I went to Little India to help the concert's logistic team to find several things. It was so hot, the sun was like biting my skin. I really felt like opening up my umbrella, was so afraid that my acne got worsen. But I was too embarrassed to do so. =.= aah... God, why do I have to endure all these things? I have given up on these helplessly shorty legs, plump body and I think one of my X-chromosome has a bit of Y-chromosome, too. T_T why do you still give me mad acne breakouts all over my already dull face? Really cannot help it. Sometimes I felt like crying when I look at it. But again, God is good and maybe he thinks I am beautiful this way..? *another self-hypno, AAHH, hold that tear!* Haha.. that was all true, I don't really like myself this way, and I am not a saint, sometimes I would question God for all these things. But I try not to let myself get me. I know that I am just another victim of media, of what media makes us perceive of beauty and all that. .

Back to topic. It was 3pm already and we still could not find many things we need. We decided to call it a day and continued next week. I then went to Queensway Shopping Centre to get myself a new sport shoe. Mine has been used for 3 years and it is now severely broken. I had glued it with super glue several times, but it couldn't last long. Ma asked me to buy a new one since it really does not look like shoes anymore, more like a karong wrapped around the foot. It also made me stumbled down many times during aerobics and running, the sole has been badly worn out. I spent hours looking for a good one, because I cannot find a cheap one so I need to buy a really good one, the one which deserve the price. finally at 6pm, found 1. Yeah!

My mind was filled with anxiety of not being able to finish all the school stuff. and with that I rushed back to PGP. I was hungry and thought of eating at canteen, but I still have a lot of food which ma brought last time she came here, there are a lot of them, stffed in the refrigerator, if I do not start eating them now, they will surely rotten before I could finish all of them. Cannot lah! ma had perpared all these things with efforts and love, must not let them spoilt! It is not that they are not good to eat, ma's cooking is always my favourite. But I need to cook them, then wash the dishes and all that.,, spent almost 1.5 hours. =.=

And now here I am in my room.

Quit idle-ing
Quit worrying
May the hard work begins.

Ganbatte brig!!