Recess week is over. Another week has gone, a week of chance to fix things up, to sort-of start over, to make amends for all the mess I've done. I wish I have used all my capacity to make the most of it. Because my heart pounds fast, and I am very scared. I have not finished the materials and assignments that I was supposed to finish by the end of this week. My feeling said I have failed again.
I can't study. I can't do anything.
So I stepped away from my desk and open my "memory box". I put program booklet of concerts that I have been to, pictures of exhibitions, tickets, letters and notes from friends. But 1 thing intrigued me to have a look on them. They are the Christmas cards from Imma, Brother Dom and notes from legionary friends during our last retreat. I read them one by one and I found the sentence "...i will keep you in my prayer..." (or the likes) written on each of them.
Someone's praying for me. Many of them, thank God for this. They remind me of a Simon & Garfunkel's song, Bridge over troubled water it is
When you're weary
Feeling small
When tears are in your eyes
I will dry them all
I'm on your side
When times get rough
And friends just can't be found
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down
When you're down and out
When you're on the street
When evening falls so hard
I will comfort you
I'll take your part
When darkness comes
And pain is all around
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down
Sail on Silver Girl,
Sail on by
Your time has come to shine
All your dreams are on their way
See how they shine
If you need a friend
I'm sailing right behind
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will ease your mind
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will ease your mind
Of course sometimes your own feeling deceives you. I believe this time it does. Remind me again, how generous God has been this whole week; I went to Curia meeting and was inspired to start trying to be a better legionary, I learned something about it, my application for SEP and UTown were accepted, I studied at arts canteen everyday with companion of legionary friends, I could finish 40% of what I should study, I received Sacrament of Reconciliation today, I read a lot of inspiring and insightful Catholic writings,.. and many things that I have missed, ah, including the very easy and economical and healthy tuna sandwich I have been having these past few days for my meals.
Thank God for good companions.
Thank God for things that still can be improved
Thank God for the consolations
A new week has arrived, I fear it, I feel so not ready for it
But I take my comfort in You
Even though I could not achieve what I want (because of my own faults, not Yours)
As You showed me in Your Via Crucis
I, too, with all my efforts and my faith, shall rise up again once I fall and hit the ground
So even if I cannot score well in my tests
I will rise again and focus on final exam!
I feel like a warrior
ready to die in the battlefield
few hours towards mid term test
I could have died there (literally)
but I will focus on sharpening my sword now
