P.S.

Last Monday, I went to a voice lesson with Aunty Mary. When I reached the practice room, nobody is there, only Aunty Mary, sitting by the piano. I swallowed a big gulp. One on one lesson. She would find out how I am a miserable singer. >.< And yeah, I sang a lot of sharp notes, I was out of breath many times and sang as if I was about to push my intestine out of my ass. I was so embarrassed.

But Aunty Mary never looked me down. She patiently guided me and taught me the right way. She understood this being my first time to really learn how to sing. There are techniques and skills you cannot develop only in one night, and most importantly... the mindset.

There were points where I really could not help but sing terribly, and I was a bit discouraged. And that's just how my life goes. I dream, I wish, I hope, I have visions of what kind of person I would like myself to be. I tried and pushed myself. I could stagger with the unpleasant feelings that I have to endure. But there is always one point in time, where I could not help it anymore. Many times, I felt like I am not being myself. I am tired of pretending to be someone else, veiled by many people's shadows.

and Aunty Mary had a very good saying regarding my singing:
"... So you like Celine Dion. I know she is very beautiful and skillful and I believe she has practiced every now and then. You know, everyone and everything is created by God, there is no way it can be bad, You don't have to sound like her to be a good singer. It's not that you have to sing like me then you are right, Everyone has her own color. All we have to do is to bring out that color and make it beautiful in our own way. I can still be Mary Tan, and you can still be Brigitta and we are beautiful in our own way..."

That means a lot to me.

That one on one lesson had taught me more than anything I could expect and I am thankful for it. Maybe it s a blessing in disguise.