Mercy Street is a song by Peter Gabriel, dedicated to Anne Sexton, who wrote a poem with the same same title. It seems to me that Anne Sexton was a successful poet. She made a lot of poets and won Pulitzer awards for poetry. As you read most of her collection, you will find how "emo" and desperate this woman was. And as I google-ed her, I found that she suffered from manic depression until she died. She attempted suicides for several times and died after "successfully" committing suicide in her own garage.
The song by Peter Gabriel may be depicting the moment before Anne committed her suicide. Many say that her depression was mainly due her exasperation with her inability to become a daughter, mother and wife that she wanted herself to be. Whether it is because of some bad experiences or because of something very awful she had done. I don't know. All I know is that she was searching for the mercy street.
I am also searching for it.
looking down on empty streets, all she can see
are the dreams all made solid
are the dreams all made real
all of the buildings, all of those cars
were once just a dream
in somebody's head
she pictures the broken glass, she pictures the steam
she pictures a soul
with no leak at the seam
lets take the boat out
wait until darkness
let's take the boat out
wait until darkness comes
nowhere in the corridors of pale green and grey
nowhere in the suburbs
in the cold light of day
there in the midst of it so alive and alone
words support like bone
dreaming of mercy st.
wear your inside out
dreaming of mercy
in your daddy's arms again
dreaming of mercy st.
'swear they moved that sign
dreaming of mercy
in your daddy's arms
pulling out the papers from the drawers that slide smooth
tugging at the darkness, word upon word
confessing all the secret things in the warm velvet box
to the priest-he's the doctor
he can handle the shocks
dreaming of the tenderness-the tremble in the hips
of kissing Mary
dreaming of mercy st.
wear your insides out
dreaming of mercy
in your daddy's arms again
dreaming of mercy st.
'swear they moved that sign
looking for mercy
in your daddy's arms
mercy, mercy, looking for mercy
mercy, mercy, looking for mercy
Anne, with her father is out in the boat
riding the water
riding the waves on the sea
Have you ever done something very wrong and awful in your life? I have.
I believe that God is justice, and I often feel that I have no excuse to be spared of His judgement. I feel very disgusted with myself. The flashback of what happened in the past often comes again and haunts me. How am I going to forgive myself for having marked my own soul with such scar? I find it very hard even for myself to forgive such offense.
But still here I am dreaming of Mercy Street. Anne went into disappointments and failed to find the street in her life, so she took out the boat and thought she could go there in whatever she believed afterlife is. As for me; past, present, future and afterlife belong to God only. And while He is just in His judgement, His love is abundant and vast. I take that faith and continue on my journey to find the Mercy Street. Although in this world, many things happened and seemed to assure you that "they moved the sign", God will show the way. The scar would open in some days, and you feel the depressing remorse again. But, as I quote:
In some ways, forgiving yourself for your own mistakes is similar to forgiving someone else who has hurt you. Forgiveness does not necessarily mean that you do not feel the pain anymore. In the words of the Catechism of the Catholic Church: “It is not in our power not to feel or to forget an offense; but the heart that offers itself to the Holy Spirit turns injury into compassion and purifies the memory in transforming the hurt into intercession.”[1] The pain you feel over your own failures can be transformed in the same way. You actually can use the bad memories and wounds of sin that rush back into your mind as a way to heal the past.
Because the past sometimes hurts, we try to suppress the memories and shove them to a place in our mind where they will stop haunting us. There is a better way. When the hurts of the past weigh upon your heart, take those pains and offer them as a prayer for all who may have been hurt in these past experiences including yourself. When the flashbacks happen, take that as a reminder to offer up a prayer for healing.
Catechism of the Catholic Church, 2843.
...And a crook like I, am trying to serve our Lord.
Because God can write beautifully even with crooked lines.
