Suffering and Death

I was lying on my bed, too lazy to get up and pray before I sleep
At the same time, someone went her way, deep to an underground tunnel, in order to pray

While I was wondering how it could be that despite the time and effort that I have made to serve my Lord, I still feel so unfortunate, bad marks in tests, unsatisfied with my life and myself.
At the same time, someone who has given up everything to serve the Lord, is tortured, ill-treated, and even killed. Yet they keep their faith in God.

I can go to church anytime I want, I can pray wherever I need to, I can practice my faith freely, but I hardly have made the best of this opportunity
Somewhere in this world, a man was condemned and killed only because he is a Christian. People are really ready to die for Christ.

Then why should I think that because I have prayed I would get what I want?
Why keep whining on hardships and misfortunes?

"God himself spare His own son to die THAT way, what makes you think He will spare the rest of us?"
God does not even spare Himself, ever imagine the heart of a parent who watched his son died? Painful it must be.

Shabaz Bhatti and many people like him died for their faith. Here I am living as freely as I could as a Catholic. What I could do is study well, instead of my slowness, my inclination to do whatever things that I enjoy more than facing my stupidity, my already wretched school life, and life.