I saw too many choices, and cannot pick a single one. I pursued those chances, stick myself to a lot of things, and in the end, only to find them disintegrate myself.
should I do internship, or summer research?
should I focus on my study, so I could have a scholarship and pursue my study, or start building up my resume?
will I like it in industrial workplace? or should I just be a researcher?
I still cannot decide on these things. I am still not sure of my capability either in doing research or working. These really stress me up. I am year 2 already and still have not found out what I am going to do. I imagined one day in the future, I meet my working friends with great pay and my researcher friends doing cool projects, while I am XXXXX, not sure what I will be in the future. I worry about how much money will I have, worry about being a failure in life and I am not helping myself cos worrying does not help me to study, to work well. And I know that I need to set up my mind in order to get out of this vicious cycle.
Sometimes it is better not to have any choices. So, today, I have finally decided. Since I am stuck here in Physics Department, due to my "infatuation" to Physics during my high school years (and that happened when I have no other choices, too), it is the cost of my narrow-mindedness, I know, but thanks to religion, I could believe that God is behind all these things, that nothing would ever happen without God concurring it.
Despite everything, many things that make me unworthy to be a good Physics student....
... I will be a good Physics undergraduate, as what I am called to do now.
So that's my only choice right now.
seduce me, Physics. ;b
Choices
Posted on
Sunday, March 6, 2011
You're in year 2 ONLY. Still so much time left. Don't worry - discover your interests, and God's plans for you with peace.
ReplyDeleteAnd I'm sure physics will seduce you eventually - it's such a beautiful and interesting field, I think.
Thanks for your kind comment, brother. I just came back to pgp at 12 am. Walking alone down the street (cos the activity dismissed late and u miss the bus) really make me emo.
ReplyDeleteYa, I need a reminder. :)
Wiw... sama ky gw..
ReplyDeletegw takut terlalu "layman", kerja hectic di kantor, orang2 sekitar gw mau duit aje tapi ga gt suka sama yg mreka kerjain.
tapi klo di research, ya gw ga capable juga. apalagi di mat, perlu pure math yg bagus, berhari2 bermain2 sama kertas sama bolpen aja, gw juga ga pengen.
pengennya c kerjaan yg di tengah2 research sama layman, yg duitnya lumayan, tapi cuma orang2 dengan kesukaan khusus yg bisa masuk. tapi lom nemu.. huhu..