P.S.

Tick.. tick..
is the sound of the clock
Nguuungggg...
is the sound of air con machine

I need to talk
but they just ignore me

it is 235am
I'd rather sleep than accompanying my self hatred thoughts
But 50 pages more to read, derive and comprehend
3 more reports to be done

How I wish I could call someone
just to tell I have been missing him/her
to tell how I am so tired and scared
to listen what he/she would suggest me to do
maybe I will whine quite a lot
but he/she will patiently bear with me
and in the end, he/she would say
"Whatever happens, I will still happy to have you"
Then he/she ask me to calm down
perhaps tell a short story
inspiring story
or some funny jokes
and lastly he/she will say to me
"Life is beautiful, isn't it??
He/she has made me couldn't agree more
Ya, life is beautiful
Ya, this sufferings are only small small tiny bits part of this vast magnificence
Then he/she says "I am glad you are cheered"
and tell me that he/she will call me back next day
or maybe have a lunch together after I finish all my deadlines
And then I hang up the phone
And starts working

...

and that's when I realized I need to sleep
mind is going wild
wildly emo