P.S.

I at NUS
Erick at NUSHS
Sister Bella; oceans away, at the Netherland
Mama, at Jakarta
Papa, at home, alone

we are apart

but united

with love

I love you all
and miss you sooo bad!

I am back to emo state after CS1101c sit in lab. I did not buy new thumbdrive, I did not own one, I did not copy the take home lab, this can save much of my time.. so mad..

I felt that I am so small now. I can't stand the pace. I want to stop and the flow of people keep pushing me.

...
Something in me was dying
and my heart as heavy as stone
hard as I was trying
and I never could find my way back home

Something in me was broken
and thoughts were bitter and ill
my life was blown open
and I couldn't see and I couldn't feel

Something in me was sinking
cause my heart was as heavy as stone
I gave up of thinking
and I could never find my way back home

waiting
searching
turning over
running around in circle
and I have worn myself out

It is a cruel world and I need somewhere to hide

....

It is sad

because it is true
;(

be failed

I fail many times but I have not get used to it.

Everytime I encounter a new failure, I would have a shock

Scream. Now I want to scream out.

Where did my life go?

merasa

Kachiko so handsome..  --> I am sabotaged

is my life

desserted

is what I feel

scream out

is what I feel like to do

cry

maybe that helps, havent cried these 2 months..

emo


I am

Just came back fro NUSchoir concert at esplanade.

The tick-tick sound woke me up at 5 am. then I looked outside. It was raining.. I then walked out, and washed my face. I intended to attend the Holy Mass today. I was still so sleepy and dizzy, still not enough sleep , last nite slept so late. I gazed out of the window to the darkness of the dawn, then I fell asleep again... Xb I can't help it, it was so peaceful and serene. Not to mention, the breeze.... 

Apostolate is a really hard task.
Last Friday, I spent hours of chat with a Catholic guy who claimed that he has been searching for God in his life.

Today, it seems like that is all a waste. My heart screams : "GEEZ, IT'S LIKE I WAS TALKING TO A CHIMP!!" Pardon my rudeness, I cannot hold it, I am so disappointed now.

Love  is not only a feeling.
You say you love God, but you do not even try to do what He wants.

Really piss me off >o<

Jesus, Your patience grant me please...

I have been recently put some interest in Catholic parenting article. I felt so excited, I want to raise good kids (emphasis on the kidS XD); 'a useful, self supporting, well-informed , inteligently patriotic individual. I imagined teaching them how to pray, appreciate the Holy Mass and go to confession and communion, not y being "sent" but by proudly accompanying their parents in the fulfillment of these duties.'

I am still very young. I dream so many dreams. I want to excel in what I do. In my study, in my earthly pilgrimage.. I indeed dream of being successful in life ahead. I dream of having a great job and being rich. But, I would like to see that raising children in a peaceful, happy and Christ-directed home is the main business of my life ultimately. I want to be a good mother and wife for my future family. :)

Aiyoohhh... flatter myself,, hahaha
ayo kerjain mastering physicsnya bu....
cs1101c sit in lab is tomo too
pc1144 term test the day after..
never ending assg and tests

I wonder if motherhood could be harder than these...
(if my mother see this she would slap me on the face : "so you think it is easy,huh???" XD)

peace, mama..

is today.


I don't know where to start.. too many things and thoughts to scream out.


I woke up early this morning.
"Aaaahhh.. baru bangun.. Selamat pagi Tuhan Yesus, selamat pagi dunia, selamat pagi matahari...selamat pagi semuanya! Pagi yang cerah, pagi yang indah.. Tidur lagi ah."
XD


etcetc


So, after PC1143 lecture I went to YIH to print some documents. After printing I went to the toilet.  In short, I left my pouch there and completely did not realize it. And then I just went smoothly to PC1143 lab session. After that, I felt so hungry (I think this is due to working too much on equations) and intended to buy some snack before going on to the next lecture.


damdamdamdam...while I picked my fave snacks, I sang Tchaikovsky Piano concerto No.1... damdamdam~ my hand wandered around my whole backpack and try to reach my pouch damdamdam~ oh not there, maybe in my pocket. damdamdam~ whoa, neither there... damdamdam(amplitude decrease, vibration staggering) I need to look inside my bag.. damda m d a   m.. S I L E N C E..


MY POUCH IS NOT WITH ME!!!!!!!!


I quickly rushed back to the lab, while waiting inside the lift I tried to have flashback. I then remembered that I left it on the soap container when I washed my hands in YIH toilet.


So, I went to YIH and searched through the toilet. Nooooooooooooooooooo, it's not there..


At this point, I really felt like crying:
1. Gonna have MA1506 test in the following 4 hrs and I need to bring my matric card
2. My credit card was inside the pouch
3. Debit card too
4. $7 EZ link card
5. some cashes


I went to SCC and report this and ask for card replacement. But the officer said that I need to make police report to the nearest police stn which is at Clementi.. It was so hot and I was so tired and hungry, my body was worn out, but my soul was even more.


I then helplessly went back to PGP. Just then, I found 1 more reason on why I should cry
MY TRANSPONDER WAS IN THE POUCH TOO!!


I am DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMED...


I then went to the management office and finally had my transp replaced BUT with s$40 fine


I get into my room, and searched through some info in the net
1. Credit card loss: s$5 charge
2. Matric card loss : s$ 16
3. Debit card loss : irreplacable
4. not to say, transponder : s$40


screwed.


Then I open my email to tell my prof that I had lost my matric card, and just then, I saw a new msg in my inbox: