P.S.

Today's su'up:

I had PC1142 lecture. I took a bath b4 lecture (wth? usually no aa?) and spent an hour to get ready.. what did I do? put on make up? no.. (if yes, then it would be so sad to me lah; already put on make up still look that bad ah?!?) I dont know, I just look myself in the mirror and love it. Narcism? nope.. (Gee, I love answering my own question) I was just being thankful for what I am. Today my lecturer talked about birefringence polarization. I was late so I did not catch it very well, but it seems so interesting though. gonna research (ahh.. exaggerated term) on that. Dr Peter Ho changed his cloth today. It is now a darker blue shirt. He looked great with anything! He talked about exam questions, literally, he told us the problem for each question. The way I see it, must be so hard Qs eeeiii.

Aanyway,

he told us something that is very good

"...blah blah blah on working the problems systematically... what you do in the exam is not writing something and hoping it is the right answer, what you do is explaining what you write to yourself to convince you that it is the right answer........"

jlebh! cupid's arrow hit my heart..

ahaha... no lah.. kidding..he has got family I guess.. ( and I weep LOL)

jlebh!

the first mentioned is what I have been doing in the exams. and that is why I could never be calm and confident in the exams. Rather than thinking logically and critically, I was always busy thinking what if I am wrong.

good advice, Dr Ho. I admire you more.

I have met at least two impressing Physics staff in NUS. One is Dr Ho and another is Prof Feng Yuan Ping, our head of department. Despite of his business, he arranged time to chat with ALL Physics freshman. The fact that he is a professor does not make him a cold-hearted person. He was so warm and enlightening.

He ask me what I want to be in the future. I was so confused at that time. I dont want to teach, I was not sure too that I want to do research.. I dont think I am good enough to make a contribution in Science. and I dont think industrial life is fun, I mean that one like engineering students. In my interpretation, we need to have as many network as possible, we have to do and to be what the majority think worth doing. It is not that I think it is bad. I am just not into that. I like mingling with friends, having chit chat, laugh... But, the truth is I could be a very individualistic person. I just do what I want.

Then he said, most people who go to Physics Department does not see making money as what they want to do in the future. I never think of that before. Actually, I don't need to be very rich. But I need enough money so that I can eat what I like XD. Really, I don't see having much money so that I can buy cars, jewelry, gadgets and etc as something very interesting. Then I think of my parents. They are not poor. But, I have a big dream for them. I want to take them around the world. I want to be able to provide them with prosperity when they get older. Therefore, I need the money..

My faith then reminds me. I shall not worry about those things. God knows just what is best for us. OK then. Even if I could not make much money, what matters is that I keep showing them that I love them and care for them. I guess that is what would make them most happy. But I still hope somehow for my BIG dream to come true (say AMEN everyone!!!)

These past few days, I felt so happy in Physics Department. I met my lab assistant at the canteen, and she greet and smiled at me. You might think it is so small. But to me it is so big lah.. World become warmer..

I got lab session. We were working with sonometer. It was fun. I love our lab sessions. I just love doing it. Eventhough I am not good at it, I am happy with the fact that I got a passion in it. Eventhough lab session in NUS Physics only worth 15% of assessment, I always put my best effort in doing it. Btw,one could be so worry about getting bad datas and busy manipulating them. Actually I am very fine with bad datas, unless it is totally wrong. The worse data you get, the more research and thinking you do, the better analysis you come out with. I always think of our results and wonder why that could be so. When I found the answer I would be just so happy.

Actually I got an A in my recent lab report. the marker said I had good analysis. It is not that I was so proud of myself. haha... This makes me realize that I should keep that spirit.. this one.. just do the best in what I do without thinking about the result.

emphasis on the 'good analysis' ^o^

This is IT. this is the spirit that I have been long for. this is the soul that once left my body. I now could accept the fact that I am not as good as other people without any burden. I will not give up. I ask everyone and learn from anything. I am still not good enough, and I am okay with it, study it over again. And of course, the motivation is to live the best version of me rather than to be better than him or her. this is it. this enthusiasm, I remember this. this is what give me strength and joy in top 30 TOFI training, me in my best shape. Phewwww.... I am so relieved that I finally find my pace. Joyyy

Sandoko told me he is studying linear algebra. Wow, he got it all. He is very smart. We are always together since 2007 OSN. But it seems that he is far improving now compared to what I am. He got admitted to SPS, doing cool research and discussions. I used to envy him. everytime we met he talked about something new and cool. I now think that we may have separate ways of success. Maybe I cannot go to SPS this year, maybe God wants me to concentrate more on the basic concept because I have not yet get them. He got a great passion in physics. while I was still lagging. it reminds me, when I went to SPS interview I told them I think research is boring (how dense). I am still struggling with basic calculus now, my math sucks lo... I used to trigerred to touch new things when I am still not done with one thing. Lack of focus. khak keng ciang, always chasing other's shadow. I need to do the first things first. One by one. be patient. without crapping much, what I think now is this:

It does not matter where you are now, it is where you are going.

I want to apply for UROPS next year. What is it?

I think I can make it. I think I have found my passion in research. I want to improve my knowledge in science. I am planing to take basic chemistry and basic programming next semester.

Ow yeah, my friend Jeysthur (who found pleasure in humiliating me), said that he is going to have piano lesson. I am strongly interested! I want to join! I want! I want! if it is affordable, I want!

Wooowwww... I feel so much alive. Life is so challenging. It offers me so many chances. Live to the fullest! maybe hard, though.

but I'll just do it. that;s what will keep me straung..

bit creepy, but still, just do it lahh

anyone who don't get it, I was trying to make my smile looks like nike's logo. o yeah, those white spots are NOT skin fungus, it is just that I am still a photoshop idiot.

I love LIFE

and one more thing, just ignore all grammatical errors

what do you expect from a band 3 QET student?

XD