Some regrets..
Why didn't I allocate some time to make effort for the essay for Tembusu? They got admitted. I didn't even try.
Why did I say such an annoying things to him? He is not to blame for that. I am annoying.
Why didn't I pick up my parents' call just now? I thought they will just call me online. They didn't.
Why did I ruin my own schedule? I made it right at the beginning. I just blow it off.
Why didn't I try to start studying for next semester? I know it would help a lot. I am too lazy.
Why didn't I try harder last semester? I could do much better than this. I did not focus.
Why did I pull myself away? I accused people for my discomfort; I didn't fit in there, I didn't like them.. etc. I am just afraid of rejection, abandonment, being compared between..
Why did I keep looking up to somebody else's life? I envied others for things I couldn't own. A greedy soul is mine.
occupies my mind..
Why don't I help myself and fix them?
I am tired of being a failure. I know my problems.. In fact, spent too much time thinking about them.. haha.. so lame.. I think I need the right atmosphere to evolve. WIthout anyone here, all I can be is emo.. I need my family, my old friends, my other half to embrace me, or to drag me.... I yearn so much for the warmth of love. This, I can hardly get in Sg.
Yeah..
The truth is, I miss you so..
I'm decaying in Sg, I need to go home and let them put the pieces back, wipe my tears away, embrace me and believe in me.
I used to believe that I am so great, that I am, hence I am.
Now I see, how frail is this flesh, how fragile is the heart.. and I need somebody to save me.
*save yourself, fraud!*
Be who you want to be,
Be who you are..
...
When you wanna give up
and your heart's about to break
Remember that you're perfect
God makes no mistake
Welcome to wherever you are - Bon Jovi
