I have been thinking of quitting my piano lesson this week. I have stopped practicing for 1 month by now. Last Sunday, I gave myself a try at PGP Music Room. I had a hard time trying to read the music sheet. I have not been used to it again. My fingers are stiff. This one, has been like that since I first start playing, but it got worse.
I was so troubled. I kept thinking of how hard it was for me to find a piano to practice daily. I couldn't afford one. I had to go to my church community centre at Pasir Panjang Road every day. This semester, I took 6 modules, and all of them are hard ones. I need to concentrate on my study, I don't think I can allocate conducive regular practice hour with tons of readings, assignments, quizzes... not to mention CCA commitments...
After 3 months of learning piano, I feel that I do not accomplish much progress. Cannot blame my teacher, Rudy IS very good at playing and teaching. I was confused, is it because I started too late? I started learning at 18 years old. My friends, they started since they were little. I never gave this fact a damn. As long as I have the willing to learn then it should be OK. Until one day someone gave a different view : "Don't you think it is ineffective to start learning at this age? ". Since then I started to doubt my decision in learning piano.
I am not good at it. I suck at it. One discouragement after another...
How unfair... Some friends are lucky to start learning from young age. They got piano at home.
It was too much. I love piano. But maybe some things are not for me. Sometimes, being humble means to let things go.
"That's it..." I gave up.
I talked to my mum on the phone and told her about my decision. It was so emotional. I felt an immense hatred to myself. It is like I was giving up for the second time.
***
NUS Piano Ensemble is opening vacancy for non performing member on this friday. I thought I had let go. I just could not stop thinking about it.
Just tonight, I randomly opened this post at Yahoo! website. 'Armless pianist defies odds in talent show'. I thought he was "another" talented guy who has been practicing since 2 or 3 years old, "only that" he was born without arms.
Just tonight, I randomly opened this post at Yahoo! website. 'Armless pianist defies odds in talent show'. I thought he was "another" talented guy who has been practicing since 2 or 3 years old, "only that" he was born without arms.
Turns out that....
No, he is not, at all! This gentleman, Liu Wei, is a 23 year old Beijing citizen. He lost his arms when he was 10. He was playing hide and seek when he touched the electric cables that costed him his arms. He started learning piano at 19! Using merely his 2 feet. Please please watch his video below. He was performing Richard Clayderman's Mariage D'amour for China's got Talent Show.
It was a powerful performance. I was left speechless, tearful. I felt so thankful for him.
***
I must not give up. Humbleness, that is all that I need to keep persevering. Maybe I got no talent, maybe I am not good in anything. But don't stop. Don't give up. Nobody says it is easy. Everybody must have gone through a lot of hardship before they excel. Maybe I cannot do well this time, but who knows what happen 10 or 20 years later? As long as you remain steadfast, as long as you keep trying over and over your failures, tell me what mountain you can't climb...
Some people are gifted. What seems to you a mountain could only be their ditch. One thing you have to hold firm: God does not call us to succeed, He calls us to give our best effort. Don't lose faith. Nothing is done in vain. So never, never give up.
This also apply to my failed Physics quiz today. Tomorrow must go to NUSPE registration! Must study better also! Everyone must do better!
Rubbish note : Another thing I need is vitamin C and flu medication. My influenza got worse, now I got a plus plus cough. *_*
All the best! You can even practise on a fake, printed keyboard or even an imaginary one when you don't have access to a piano.
ReplyDeleteGet well soon too.
Thank you very much, brother Dom!
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