I don't like myself. Has anybody felt this way, the feeling of being the one who is fated to be lost in so-called genotype and phenotype lottery? Who am I trying to fool, act like a happy and grateful soul, amidst the blows expelled by life? I am no good. I am not okay.
Who am I trying to fool, when I look to the mirror and say "I love just the way I am." I might have to swallow the fact that I cannot posses those good-looking genes, height genes... Well, people say gene does not make a man. Too bad, I am just ugly inside out.
I am a retard who is trying to do physics,
an inarticulate mind who is trying to write,
a tone-deaf person who wants to do music,
a wicked soul who is trying to save other souls,
an unfunny and lonely clown
Too much flaws to bear. It is like an itch that you can not scratch.
and I cannot persevere.
I cannot think of any consolation.
