Friends can only be friends. It is easy to share joys together, but that's it.
Your lover loved you only when you were together. Well, he said he would still be praying for me, 'wyatb'. I hope he really remember me in his prayers. I guess I should be grateful with that thinking of how sad it was to be completely cut out of his life. Thank you very much.
Family is the only 'us' who stand by me when the rest disappears. Time proves so.
February 2013
I have known this all along: being in love is to be vulnerable.
Only Heaven knows what has been in the heart all this while.
As for me, I won't forget.
I am glad it did not work with that guy with a lovely smile. (He is the victim, I am the villain)
and also the plan to secure every semester's dean's list, the prestigious internship I tried applying in year 3, the leading role in a musical production I auditioned for, the idea of being talented in arts, ...
I have lived almost 4 years of contant epic fail and I still do not believe that I am actually a useless person.
so there the list goes on...!
I am secretly having crush with cigarettes. Wouldn't it be awesome on lonesome nights like this one, when flashbacks of the past played and when the regrets came along? Or when the thoughts of tomorrow has exhausted me, ceased to be appealing to this worn-out soul.
Last things. I could die tomorrow, then I would die a lonely person. If God permitted me to wake up again tomorrow and stay alive for some more years ahead, I would know how awful it is to live like this, to be known as something by everyone, yet nothing by anyone. Time passed and it would never came back to me, for me to live with someone to grow up with. I gave it up when I decided to find the answer to my own worth, I left them all. And I think I am seeing an answer.
I missed that momentum. Then, let this be my last chance: a dog friend to grow old with.
I wish I were short-minded enough to smoke.